Post-December 1st

It was almost the end of the world on Monday. I held it together pretty well until....A friend who I gave a lot of advice to that was accepted (who totally deserves it) and my mom writing me a sweet message that broke me down. I was unarmored, I felt like my interviews went so much better, that my application was stronger.

I'm still feeling a little hopeless. I have no direction in my life. I've lived over half of my life thinking I would become a dentist. When I was faced with the reality that maybe third time wouldn't be the charm, it's like a storm is passing through my life again. It's frustrating to have finally mustered the courage to give it another go, only to be let down.

Then, I pulled myself together. I wasn't rejected December 1st. However slim my chances are of getting in now, I can't throw it all away yet. But I also have to be realistic. Lining up Plans B, C, D, and E are going haywire as I type this. What was I meant to do with my life?

I want this so bad that I can't even turn my back on it after three years. Everyone said that third time's a charm, is it really? I'm so frustrated with myself more than anyone, any school, or any thing.

D-9

Nine days until December 1st.
All is (too) quiet and calm.

Things to be optimistic about:

• It's less than two weeks away.
• I have a plan B (that I don't really want to have to follow through with)
• I haven't been rejected (officially) by any schools yet. 
• Thanksgiving and Black Friday are around the corner.
• November is almost over.

21/3

Three weeks.
Twenty-one days.

Until December 1st.

Anxiety is kicking in at an all-time high.

As much as I want that day to come, I'm also afraid it will tell me something I don't want to hear.

Ah, such a cruel waiting game. 

38 days.

38 days until December 1st.

That's all I got for ya.

Crossing my fingers, toes, and eyes until then.

Wishlist for Dental School (if I get in)

NEED:

• December 1st acceptance
• a new laptop (~$1000)
• a tablet (~$500)

PROBABLY WILL NEED:

• loupes (~$2000)
• scrubs (~$250)
• new school wear (~$150)

WISHFUL THINKING:

• a fancy scholarship that will cover all my expenses (minimally, tuition?)? (~$250,000)
• a handsome prince charming (~$ priceless)
• an ample overflow of energy for four years (~$ priceless)

WILL NEED TO QUICKLY ACQUIRE:

• undivided attention and focus
• handskill
• confidence
• academic mindset
• my classmates' and professors' undying love

Interview

After a whole load of confusion with my AADSAS not being merged with my supplemental application, which led to my application not having been reviewed until at least a month after my final submission...

I was finally offered an interview invite October 1st and interviewed last Friday, October 10th. I felt so much better about this interview than the last time I had interviewed at this institution. It was a relief to feel at a little more ease than the previous time. It proves to me that I have truly grown, matured, and have collected more to speak from. I feel ready. I hope the admissions committee agrees.

My anxiety is getting the best of me...

Third times a charm, they say.

But as each day passes in September, I get more and more anxious as to what to make of my future.

I find myself waking up in the middle of the night clenching my teeth, religiously checking Student Doctor Network to see where people were getting interview invites, and constantly checking my e-mail or AADSAS.

A interview would really ease my nerves, but I also can't wait for it to be December 1. However, each day that passes without an invite makes me that much more nervous that the day is approaching.

Crossing my fingers and hoping for the best...Third times a charm