The most terrifying word that exists after rejection. For me, it's an even scarier word because I have been waitlisted before -- only to ultimately be rejected by the time school had started. It is needless to say, but needs to be stated: it is a frustrating situation to be in.
Why?
Future plans can't be made.
I can't enjoy life right now and spend time with the hobbies I would have liked to spend my time with if I knew I could go to school this fall. I wanted to spend more time painting, learning the piano, improving my physical health, and reviewing old science textbooks in preparation for new challenges.
You have to sit on the edge of your seat.
No one is going to give you a definite answer. They are just going to tell you to wait. They say they know how dreadful it is to sit in the unknown, but they really don't. I debate, on the daily, whether or not I should stay in my dental-related job or just begin to prepare for something else. I worry that I wasn't meant to be a dentist.
There's nothing you can do about it.
Nothing I can do at this point in the cycle will move me one spot higher on an alternate list nor will it ensure that I can gain myself a position with a future opening. All I can do is sit on my fattening tush and hope, to God or the higher power that will help me, that enough people drop out to get me a position somewhere, anywhere.
June 1st is getting closer every day.
It occurred to me last night as I was looking at my calendar that the 2015-16 cycle is already getting ready to roll in less than 100 days. Hoping that this would be my year, I honestly have not prepared for a new cycle. It terrifies the hell out of me. This would mean cycle four, but I'm also afraid to give up on my dream...
