Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Union Gospel Mission Dental Clinic

I have been in a strange place that I didn't think I would be in after December first this year. However, I am and I am trying to figure out how to make the best of this situation.

So after a ten hour work day, I am hauling myself through rush hour traffic and traveling 45 minutes to volunteer at the Union Gospel Mission Dental Clinic when I can. It's been eye-opening and mind-broadening. I have learned more of what kind of person I want to strive to be and has made me want, more, what I can't have.

The collaboration of dentists and volunteers is deeply heartwarming and makes me believe in humanity again. The fact that people come here on their own time to help those who are possibly less fortunate or lost their ways in the complicated path called life, is assuring that there are good people in the world. People who want to make a difference in the lives of others.

What's more? Is the story of each patient. It was never their intention to end up at a free clinic for dental care. It was never their intention to have one (or more) of their teeth remain at the dental office when they left. My ignorant misconceptions and stereotypes were rectified as I called in patients and prepared them for an introduction to the night's dentists. In those short spurts of time, I learned so much about the pain and strife or conquering that each patient had gone through in this life to get to that day. Whether it was health-related or one life-changing moment, each person had their own story, their own legacy that made them who they were. That brought them to us.

How incredible. After living day to day in the corporate dentistry world, I was touched and humbled by being at the Union Gospel Mission last night and realized, once again, why I want to do this.

Saturday, December 6, 2014

Post-December 1st

It was almost the end of the world on Monday. I held it together pretty well until....A friend who I gave a lot of advice to that was accepted (who totally deserves it) and my mom writing me a sweet message that broke me down. I was unarmored, I felt like my interviews went so much better, that my application was stronger.

I'm still feeling a little hopeless. I have no direction in my life. I've lived over half of my life thinking I would become a dentist. When I was faced with the reality that maybe third time wouldn't be the charm, it's like a storm is passing through my life again. It's frustrating to have finally mustered the courage to give it another go, only to be let down.

Then, I pulled myself together. I wasn't rejected December 1st. However slim my chances are of getting in now, I can't throw it all away yet. But I also have to be realistic. Lining up Plans B, C, D, and E are going haywire as I type this. What was I meant to do with my life?

I want this so bad that I can't even turn my back on it after three years. Everyone said that third time's a charm, is it really? I'm so frustrated with myself more than anyone, any school, or any thing.