Union Gospel Mission Dental Clinic

I have been in a strange place that I didn't think I would be in after December first this year. However, I am and I am trying to figure out how to make the best of this situation.

So after a ten hour work day, I am hauling myself through rush hour traffic and traveling 45 minutes to volunteer at the Union Gospel Mission Dental Clinic when I can. It's been eye-opening and mind-broadening. I have learned more of what kind of person I want to strive to be and has made me want, more, what I can't have.

The collaboration of dentists and volunteers is deeply heartwarming and makes me believe in humanity again. The fact that people come here on their own time to help those who are possibly less fortunate or lost their ways in the complicated path called life, is assuring that there are good people in the world. People who want to make a difference in the lives of others.

What's more? Is the story of each patient. It was never their intention to end up at a free clinic for dental care. It was never their intention to have one (or more) of their teeth remain at the dental office when they left. My ignorant misconceptions and stereotypes were rectified as I called in patients and prepared them for an introduction to the night's dentists. In those short spurts of time, I learned so much about the pain and strife or conquering that each patient had gone through in this life to get to that day. Whether it was health-related or one life-changing moment, each person had their own story, their own legacy that made them who they were. That brought them to us.

How incredible. After living day to day in the corporate dentistry world, I was touched and humbled by being at the Union Gospel Mission last night and realized, once again, why I want to do this.

Post-December 1st

It was almost the end of the world on Monday. I held it together pretty well until....A friend who I gave a lot of advice to that was accepted (who totally deserves it) and my mom writing me a sweet message that broke me down. I was unarmored, I felt like my interviews went so much better, that my application was stronger.

I'm still feeling a little hopeless. I have no direction in my life. I've lived over half of my life thinking I would become a dentist. When I was faced with the reality that maybe third time wouldn't be the charm, it's like a storm is passing through my life again. It's frustrating to have finally mustered the courage to give it another go, only to be let down.

Then, I pulled myself together. I wasn't rejected December 1st. However slim my chances are of getting in now, I can't throw it all away yet. But I also have to be realistic. Lining up Plans B, C, D, and E are going haywire as I type this. What was I meant to do with my life?

I want this so bad that I can't even turn my back on it after three years. Everyone said that third time's a charm, is it really? I'm so frustrated with myself more than anyone, any school, or any thing.

D-9

Nine days until December 1st.
All is (too) quiet and calm.

Things to be optimistic about:

• It's less than two weeks away.
• I have a plan B (that I don't really want to have to follow through with)
• I haven't been rejected (officially) by any schools yet. 
• Thanksgiving and Black Friday are around the corner.
• November is almost over.

21/3

Three weeks.
Twenty-one days.

Until December 1st.

Anxiety is kicking in at an all-time high.

As much as I want that day to come, I'm also afraid it will tell me something I don't want to hear.

Ah, such a cruel waiting game. 

38 days.

38 days until December 1st.

That's all I got for ya.

Crossing my fingers, toes, and eyes until then.

Wishlist for Dental School (if I get in)

NEED:

• December 1st acceptance
• a new laptop (~$1000)
• a tablet (~$500)

PROBABLY WILL NEED:

• loupes (~$2000)
• scrubs (~$250)
• new school wear (~$150)

WISHFUL THINKING:

• a fancy scholarship that will cover all my expenses (minimally, tuition?)? (~$250,000)
• a handsome prince charming (~$ priceless)
• an ample overflow of energy for four years (~$ priceless)

WILL NEED TO QUICKLY ACQUIRE:

• undivided attention and focus
• handskill
• confidence
• academic mindset
• my classmates' and professors' undying love

Interview

After a whole load of confusion with my AADSAS not being merged with my supplemental application, which led to my application not having been reviewed until at least a month after my final submission...

I was finally offered an interview invite October 1st and interviewed last Friday, October 10th. I felt so much better about this interview than the last time I had interviewed at this institution. It was a relief to feel at a little more ease than the previous time. It proves to me that I have truly grown, matured, and have collected more to speak from. I feel ready. I hope the admissions committee agrees.

My anxiety is getting the best of me...

Third times a charm, they say.

But as each day passes in September, I get more and more anxious as to what to make of my future.

I find myself waking up in the middle of the night clenching my teeth, religiously checking Student Doctor Network to see where people were getting interview invites, and constantly checking my e-mail or AADSAS.

A interview would really ease my nerves, but I also can't wait for it to be December 1. However, each day that passes without an invite makes me that much more nervous that the day is approaching.

Crossing my fingers and hoping for the best...Third times a charm

TO: POSERS WHO ARE LYING TO THEMSELVES

I'm going to be straightforward and just put it out there that this post is a RANT. So if you don't want to hear it, skip this post. But just as a reference, I rarely let things get to me, let alone post somewhere publicly about them. I am IRATE about an irresponsible and careless person.

I COMPLETELY understand if you are working at a non-profit organization for a cause that you strongly believe in whether it's for the environment, for education, for human welfare...Whatever your cause. Actually, props to you. You deserve a pat on the back and plenty of love from your community for dedicating your time and energy to make a difference in the world. However, those of you who are just posing as someone who believes in a cause, please, please don't just do things you don't even believe in just so you can slap it on your med school application. Especially when you didn't do your job...Or when you can't do your job.

I have been in contact with a non-profit dental organization that provides dental care to children of low income households. Now I want to start off by saying, I know fully how this organization runs its volunteers and I hate the entropy of the whole organization. It drives me crazy. But I was willing to tough it out, because I believe that children, regardless of gender, race, class, whatever, should be  eligible to receive proper dental care.

That being said, I contacted the intern coordinator in the beginning of December because I wanted to avoid that "holiday season" where work just seems to slow down and nothing gets done. I got a response right away from the intern coordinator and he said that there were spots open (which, I believe there always are). As much of an answer as I expected, I asked if he even wanted to meet with me because he just asked me when I wanted to start.

So I met with him at least a week and a half before Christmas and I find that he just happens to be applying to med school. I openly share my experiences with him and he seems more interested in finding out about my application process to dental school than actually selling the volunteer position to me or finding a reason to turn me away.  I leave, noticing that not much has changed since the last time I volunteered at the organization and tell myself to suck it up.

Fast forward a few weeks, because at that meeting he told me to "Let me know when I wanted to come in", I e-mail him letting him know that I would like to come in on Tuesdays in the morning and give him specific times. No response for over a week. Fine, I give him a call. He tells me that there's actually more opportunities in the clinic and asks if I can volunteer Saturdays. Fine. Although I cleared out my mornings at work on Tuesdays because I had intended to volunteer, I was content with volunteering on Saturdays as well.

I ask him to confirm. No response for weeks. I give him a call on a Friday. "Oh, I'll give you a call later TODAY after talking to the clinic coordinator." Meanwhile, I keep having appointments on Saturdays -- work, seminars, Give Kids a Smile day. Saturdays are booking up fast.

I shoot him yet ANOTHER e-mail. At this point, it's already February. We're talking TWO MONTHS PEOPLE. I have not received ONE E-MAIL RESPONSE SINCE THE INITIAL RESPONSE. I would've seriously been content with a "ok" or "you can come" (totally disregarding any English grammar). I could care less as long as I got an answer. But this DUDE IS SERIOUSLY WHACK. While he seems all put together and proper when you see him, he does not have his $**T together.

After two months of this ridiculous lack of response, I put two and two together....Lack of response for dental non-profit + med school aspirations = decoration for med school app.  What a show. I know that work at a non-profit is much harder than for profit and private companies, but people like you might be why these organizations stay disorganized and never develop into more well-known causes.


I am absolutely disgusted. However, this will not prevent me from volunteering there. I am just going to avoid this guy at all costs. And definitely letting this situation be known, not only because it is unfair to me, but also because it is unfair to the children and their families who will suffer the indirect consequences from lack of structure in volunteers.